Like the rains that seem to come every week, the last month I've been mostly sick fighting off a respiratory infection that seemed to affect everyone I knew, including my family.
The experience was dreadful at times; I had a terrible sore throat the first week, and the second week I was so congested I would wake up a few times at night because I couldn't breathe. There were times I could only squeeze out a "please God"--I couldn't remember the last time I was in such sickly misery.
I think people of faith can fall under two extremes when it comes to sickness: is it a God-given opportunity to exercise greater faith, or is it spiritual warfare, a concrete expression of the falleness of our world and therefore to be resisted at all times? Most extremes tend to destroy truly life-giving faith; perhaps discernment in the particulars of a life when we deal with sickness leads to a more truthful reality than a broad theological brushstroke.
Since this all happened during Lent's beginning, it was difficult not connecting it to the themes of sacrifice, suffering, and limitations. Compassion, according to Henri Nouwen, "removes all pretensions, just as it removes false modesty." In my case, my miserable state helped me understand in small part what it may be like for those around me who deal with chronic conditions or are frequently sick. As one who is usually healthy, it's easy to start tuning these people out as either hypochondriacs or just no fun to be around--what a drag being around sickos! But it also made me respect the great strength and willpower of those who despite it all don't complain, go to work, raise families, and create beauty around them.
If this bout of sickness has helped create a little bit more compassion for others who suffer, then I guess it was worth it--as a God-opportunity to deepen faith.
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